How I Fought Wasps Like Iron Man

By | June 19, 2013

As a fan of technology and something of a nerd, I have always enjoyed Iron Man comics. Here’s a hero who defeats the bad guys using not his brawn, but rather his incredible intellect. His only ‘super-power’ is his resourcefulness and his technological brilliance, and through that he has been able to throw down with the likes of Thor and the Hulk. Add in the cool playboy lifestyle of alter-ego Tony Stark and the story of Iron Man becomes pretty much every tech-geek’s fantasy.

This is why I will often ask myself ‘what would Iron Man do?’ when I’m faced with a challenge – even when the situation doesn’t obviously lend itself to such a solution… Here’s how that logic saved me when I was dealing with a wasp infestation.

The Origin of Wasp-Man!


It all started one night a few years ago when I was living with my best mate in a small bedroom flat. He had gone to bed early with his girlfriend ready for work, and I had shut myself in my room to chill out. After reading a good magazine, I got up to go and lock up outside and make myself a cup of tea –only to find when I opened my door that the hallway was literally swarming with wasps. I quickly remembered that we had a wasp’s nest outside the kitchen window and one of us had left that window open with the kitchen light on before heading to bed. In the space of a few hours a good forty or fifty wasps must have flown in and set up camp in that small confined space.

I shut myself back in my room with my heart racing. The situation was not only frightening, but also revolting – seeing them crawl up the windows was like something out of a zombie movie. But what was I to do? I couldn’t just go back to bed, as that would mean my housemate would be attacked by them in the morning. If I went out there though, I’d surely be stung to death by those things.

So I asked myself: what would Tony Stark do? And the answer was obviously to build himself a speciality suit of armour to deal with the situation. A high tech body-suit that would protect him while at the same time giving him an arsenal of weapons to draw on.

And so I went about creating one using what I had in my room: I put on a thick leather jacket and tucked it into my trousers, I put on glasses and wrapped a towel around the rest of my face, and I put on two sets of gloves. By the end there wasn’t a centimetre of skin showing. I then grabbed a newspaper and some bleach I had in my room from cleaning earlier and I went out there…

And in the space of twenty minutes I had laid waste to those wasps. Inspired by my high tech hero I killed over forty wasps and save my friend and his girlfriend. The exterminators came the next day and the rest was history.

But the moral of the story is that no matter how bleak things may seem, there’s always a solution if you use your brain. Also: wasps are horrible.

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Today’s guest author, Mark Ross, is a technician at IcePest, a pest control service that provides services for Raccoon removal, in Toronto. He is a nature lover and an environmentalist. He is motivated to make this a greener planet and works towards it zealously in his spare time.

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